A Night At A Boat In Orillia, Ontario (Sept. 16)...
I made my way into Orillia, Ontario for my first destination. Of course I immediately missed the road I needed to take when the congestion started because I didn't know where I was going, and was boxed in when my turn came.
Maaan, do I ever hate cities! There's something about me and them that just doesn't jive!
It was so good to see Brian and Wendy at their boat. Fennario loved it too. She popped right up on in, and checked stuff out. Such a good girl.
The moon is out nice and bright on a starry clear night. There is a chill to the nighttime breezed air that surely foretells of the pending autumn ahead.
Even in the dark, the water adds that liquid tranquility that feels quite soothing on an instinctive.
I am, however, exhausted. It was a grind of a drive across the country for sure, but I'm thinking it's more of the emotional slaughterhouse that's been raging within me. The amount of tears I shed during the past three days of driving has been quite spectacular. (Tee-hee!) I know for sure that I am a long, long way done from that.
The exhaustion is permeating everything within me, but I'm still truckin' along. I'm here in Orillia now, and then heading to Collingwood early, early in the morning. Then I drive to west of London, which is around three and a half hours. I'm spending the night there with an old friend from back in the day. I'm excited to meet Kurt's family.
I did, however, warn him that if his son brings up LeBron James, that shit can go off the rails quite quickly. (Giggle.)
The following morning, Saturday, I have to drive back to Collingwood for Michelle's celebration of life.
Buckets of tears...
Who knows what for Saturday night, but last night when I was thinking about Michelle while watching her paint an amazing sunset for me, I signed myself up for the Terry Fox run for Sunday morning.
Once I whup down this weekend, I'll settle into some kind of 'whatever' for the next little bit. I'm gonna get in touch with Sean and Shannon about some riding, and figure out some swimming. I also have to start putting together some sponsorship package material for the next seven years of triathlons I'm gonna do in Michelle's memory.
The number in my head is a minimum of 250 over that time, but who can really tell. Racing every weekend puts a total of 364, but that's not possible with Fennario as I cannot go to Australia and New Zealand to race as long as she is with me...which is more than fine by me 'cause I love the lil' fucker!
I can't stop thinking about Michelle though, and then experience the ensuing conflict that comes along with that between love and devastation.
(I'm starting to notice that I say that a lot.)
I believe in what I am doing, and am gonna try my best to honour her the only way I know how to do. Visions for that have already been falling into place, and painting their own kind of image for me to put together my most epic masterpiece of transcending gnarliness yet, and I am really looking forward to gettin' at it.
Messaging with a friend a couple weeks ago, I said this to her...
I've got a vision though. It involves a lotta tears for a long time, but it's a good vision on a good path.
If I were to say it as a mission statement of my company (smiley face), it would be this that I just wrote down...
"In the fabled love in the lore of mythology, I'm gonna build a monument to Michelle that can never be torn down."
Wait til you see what I do next...
My brain has flipped the on switch. Now I gotta put it all into action.
A definite repetitive notion has been that everything has changed since Michelle and those swims. This entire trip to Ontario is no exception. It is all different now, and now that I am here, I have to do some readjusting. I know I will have some thoughts while I am out grinding away at that little run on Sunday. I haven't run since 2019, so I know it's gonna bang me up a bit.
I've given up on running except for race day. It is too hard on my body and just hurts too much, so I have retired myself from out of competition running, as in, all of it.
This will make the Terry Fox Run interesting, but maybe, more so, the day after. (Giggle)
I look forward to what comes into my mind during that because I know something is bound to show itself.
My legs are buckling from the exhaustion right now though, so I'm gonna say good night to the moon, send Michelle some love, and call it a night...