We shared a limo...
I'm falling behind a lot with things I have written while I was travelling across the country, but a couple days later, as sit here on a quiet Monday morning, I can't help but to keep coming back to this photo of the two I stuck together. It leaves me drifting away in several places at once...
Seeing Jeannine really conjured up a lot of emotion. I can't say it was entirely unexpected in reflection, but it hit me like a full charging tsunami. In the way that I get stuck on the words of, 'shimmering elegance,' for Michelle, I get stuck on the notion of, 'sweet,' with Jeannine. She is a such a sweetheart of a person, and it permeates everything about her.
Jeannine just radiates this embracing kindness that you instinctively know within is so genuine. What did I say about Michelle in the words I wrote the day she passed...
"...but her character, her movements, her interactions with others, her words she would speak, and the sound of her voice..."
Yes...exactly!! That's Jeannine!!
The parallels between her and Michelle in that regard are virtually identical. I recognized that back in the day, and I could still feel it the same on Saturday. That's how it is so easy to see how authentic her sweet nature is, and always has been.
Except for when I cried to myself in the back, standing for long periods of time looking at the photo of Michelle on the little altar in her yard, I kept my shit together, but seeing Jeannine just levelled me. It made no difference whether it was when I was directly interacting with her, seeing her from afar, or standing with my back to her, and hearing her talk with others while I stared at a collage of Michelle on her fence, from the first moment I saw her, everything was different with the way it felt being at Michelle's for her celebration.
Jeannine was harmonized balance...
She encapsulates that intrinsic sense of everything feeling right in a sea of everything feeling so wrong.
I don't know how to properly express that though, but I was very consciously aware of it. It really struck me when I was standing with my back to her, and heard her talking with our old friends, and seeing the little heart message she filled out. As soon as I locked onto that, I just smiled as I got filled with that harmonized balance that makes everything feel right...just the same as Michelle.
Jeannine is Michelle. Michelle is Jeannine.
I just can't separate the two, and I don't see any need to either.
I've been repetitively saying that I couldn't have possibly loved and appreciated Michelle anymore than I did in life, and that has only exploded even more in her passing, but in the exact same paralleled ferocity, I can say the same thing in regard to my gratefulness for Jeannine.
I couldn't have been more grateful for her in Michelle's life, and that has infinitely exploded in Michelle's passing.
If you read this, Jeannine...
Thank you for always being who you are. I am better for having known you, and as I found out on Saturday, I learned even more of the true notion of the beautiful person you are.
You are an astonishing one, that's for sure.
I am grateful for you...