• roadtrippinwithmyd

Masks And The Value Of My Life - Part 2 (Denied Shopping & Front Liners)


This is comment I whipped off (without reading) from some post about the new restrictions that just came down... I'm trying to figure this one out, because I am the odd one out in all of this. I have had severe medical issues for 27 years. I am in agonizing pain in every aspect of my body, inside and out...my entire body. It's actually quite dangerous for me to wear a mask, and so I don't do it. My reasoning's don't necessarily fit in with the government guidelines at the moment...lots of the time i can't lift my arms to reach my head, right now i can, but as i eluded to it is dangerous for me to wear a mask, or anything on my head as the pain they cause is so bad that i have blackouts, hallucinations, light headed-ness which causes me to lose gaps in time, and puts me at risk of collapsing, walking into traffic and such without realizing it, and so on and so on. The thing is, I understand people are being piece of shit assholes to front line workers who are just trying to do their job. I don't want to fight with them about not wearing a mask, despite all the dangers they put me in, because that's just wrong. Like I said, they're just trying to do their job. I also don't have a phone, so doing all the pick-up stuff and online stuff isn't fully conducive to me. I just have a computer at home, but live 30 minutes from town, and am not sure when i come in. sometimes my body is so messed up from pain, that i don't do things when planned, and most often just do anything spontaneously as my body allows...so that doesn't work for this kind of curbside stuff and such.


One thing I am beyond fed up with though, is healthy people thinking they need to speak on my behalf as a so-called vulnerable person. I can speak for myself just fine. Wearing a mask isn't a good thing for me despite all I have going on, not even close to it, so when all these healthy people think they are speaking for so-called vulnerable people, they are very laced with ignorance to the full scope of the notion. The government, with their rules, they haven't given one thought to someone like me, as the very rules they put in place to possibly protect me, are in fact putting me more in danger.


I think the freedom kooks are just that...kooks. We are a nation with laws that weren't there in the beginning and have been implemented over time, quite often arising from tragedy with the aim of preventing the repetition of that tragedy. There are so many loopholes and spaces to fall through the cracks, which I am a part of in this moment of circumstance...I am more than qualified to be exempt as all hell, but it doesn't fall in the direct exemption mandate at this time for me because i can lift my arms, not all the way up, I'll never be able to do that again, but i can reach my ears, so i am basically, fucked.


Personally, I don't care if people do or don't wear a mask. I'm not gonna get all over someone for not doing it, just as I am not gonna mix it up with a front line worker who is put in the position to have to deal with this, which was never a part of what they signed up for when they took the job in the first place. I know it has been exhausting in every sense for them, emotionally, physically, mentally...the whole deal, which is why I do wanna get into it with them and add to all of that, because they gotta be on their breaking point because of all the freedom assholes being total pricks to them.


I'm really torn as to what to do for myself outside of doing a week long water fast or something when my food runs out. This is new for everyone, and it has been nothing short of chaotic, and handled in a very reactionary way from all sides. I know I'm one of the odd ones out because of my overly rare situation, and I'm kinda getting screwed over because of it, but lucky for me, I am not a stranger to this. I've had so much taken from my life because of my illnesses (yes, I have several...to the point where i have been told by healers that i deserve an award for how messed up i am), literally losing years at a time, and now with all of this craziness, i have been thrown further into the meat grinder, and once again, as is all too familiar, I have to figure out how to navigate my way through it all.


One thing I am not gonna do is fight with front line people just trying to do their job for rules they never made in an overly stressful time.


Lucky for me, since the day I was born, when I was supposed to die with in 24 hours, and had to fight for three days just to get a chance at life, right out of the gate, I have been like the cockroach you can drop a nuke on and keep surviving.


Such an odd time we are in...


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