Updated: Nov 4, 2020
I had this one moments after I had whatever the hell it was at The Uptown Tavern as they are in the same building, and the food comes out of the same kitchen.
When I settled up my bill for the first one, my server asked me how it was. I told him that it was soggy, very acidic, and something else. He said that the chef told him to tell him when I was done so he could come out to talk with me. I wasn't too sure why, but I said I didn't have time, that I wanted to go to Louie's to get their burger too before I went to work. My server told me that Louie's wasn't open until 5pm. I said that was a bummer, but OK. He then told me that they would make it off the menu for me as it is the same kitchen anyway. I said that was great, and thanked him for it, and then went back to sit down with my friends.
My stomach was in deep disarray because of the Uptown burger, and I was hoping for some redemption with the Louie's burger entry.
Watching it being delivered to our table, it did have some redeeming qualities to it, and all three of us noted that. I mean, at least it looked like a burger instead of whatever that other thing was.
The train immediately went right off the tracks into another disaster as soon as I picked it up. It was swimming in another pool of grease. The bottom of the bun was so bad that my thumb sliced right through it just simply trying to hold onto it to eat the thing.
The star of every burger show is the patty, of course. Well, at least this one resembled a proper burger, but the patty was literally falling apart. Pieces would continuously fall off of it when I would bring it up to my mouth to eat. It was that 'people jumping from the Titanic' thing all over again, except even more so. The soggy bun disintegrating around my thumb from the dripping grease made my thumb come in contact with the patty as the bun would all but disappear, and when that happened, the patty fell apart even more. Whether intended to or not, It didn't have any structural integrity whatsoever.
The trail of grease from my mouth to stomach was so off-putting. Whatever was started with The Uptown burger was definitely finished off with this Louie's burger. I was kind of upset with myself for putting myself through that. There's no way I should have, or at least there is no way I would have if I knew it was going to be bathed in grease again. I guess I was just being too optimistic, but should have known better with them coming from the same kitchen by the same chef.
If my guests were to ask me, there is only one response I could, in good conscience, give to them...
"Stay the hell away!"
I'm pretty upset with how bad my stomach felt with that double dose of grease. Total bummer! I genuinely felt terrible in my body, and it left me in a bad mood all day. It felt like I ate oil-slicked rocks that were sitting in my stomach so heavily. Now my mind is feeling a closer synergy of sorts with the little animals covered in oil from the Exxon spill back in the day in 1989. Poor bastards! I suddenly feel a kinship with them.
My two friends I was with were constantly laughing at me. My words I have written might seem harsh, but trust me, they are much kinder than what I was saying when I was there. My friends saw my genuine reactions. It was terrible. They couldn't even believe those to be the entries...it wasn't just me. The shock was real! With Louie's, when that one came out, they said, "at least that one looks like more like a burger." I'm not making up how bad this was...both of them...Louie's and The Uptown Tavern, disgraceful fail!
The word I have used a few times here was, "upset," so I am just gonna roll with that.
I was upset for having had those burgers...a victim of my own choices.
**For those who might think it some of my reactions were because of having two back to back burgers, that isn't so. A couple years ago when I went to Finley's for their Burger Week burger, it was so good, that I immediately ordered a second one, and scarfed it down in no time...with no adverse effects other than elation of wonderment in bliss. Having two burgers was not the problem, having those two specific burgers was the problem.
It's almost 24 hours later and I still don't feel well. I'll stick to Louie's Steakhouse for their namesake, as they make a really good steak, but no more burgers from that building for me...ever!
**Regrettably, I have to put up this addition to both of the Uptown Tavern and Louie's Steakhouse posts...
I was messed up for the better part of two days from eating those two burgers. I was really feeling not well until I woke up this morning. (Two days later) I have been ill to my stomach, very lethargic through my entire body, and had a very strange head ache that impeded on some of my clarity of thought. I'm not exaggerating, or making it up, and it was directly from eating those burgers. It began virtually instantly from the overkill ocean of grease in the Uptown so-called burger, and then the extra dosage of grease from the Louie's burger. I should never have eaten the Louie's burger. Feeling as bad as I have the past two days, I am upset with myself for having made that choice to do so. That's all my fault though, because what else should I have expected from the same chef in the same kitchen?! I'm also somewhat disappointed with myself for not coming properly prepared as I didn't realize I was going to need my swim trunks and a snorkel to navigate my swim through that very ocean of grease. I don't know the proper words to convey how bad those burgers made me feel.